THE LEGEND-NEWS HEADLINES.
“Truth? Lies? Satire? What’s the difference?”
Alan Moore Sues To Have His Name Removed From Himself
Virgin Gorda Loses 60 Pounds On Jenny Craig Diet
Canada Demands Worldwide Royalties On The Use of “Eh”
FOX Pre-cancels Critically-Acclaimed Shows Before Fall Premieres
FINAL SCORE: John XXIII, Pius VI
God Indicted, Charged With Abandoment of Human Race
Entrepreneurial Tornado Flips Houses
United States Postal Service To Encourage Mail Use With New “Go Postal!” Campaign
Chief of Detectives Amos Burke Vows To Investigate “Who Killed the King of Pop?”
Glenn Beck Calls Kettle Black
TODAY Show Wears Shorts; Nation Dismayed By Fashion Faux Pas
Obama To Rename DHS as ‘Department of Fatherland Security’
FOX NEWS: Makes Whites Whiter!
Bullet Fired at Dick Tracy; Expected to Strike Nearby Wall in Six Days
Scotland Offers Free Terrorist: Inquire Within
86-Year-Old Man Claims That Peer Pressure Led Him To Drink
Polls Show Confidence In Polls Declining
Nation Remembers That Joe Biden Is Vice President
Twitter Attacked, And I Don’t Give a Flying F**k
Hero Cheats Death; Death Sues For Compensation
Entire Cast of “Funky Winkerbean” Dies When Tour Bus Driver Ed Crankshaft Suffers Heart Attack