THE LEGEND-NEWS HEADLINES.
“Truth? Lies? Satire? What’s the difference?”
Act of God Damages Anti-God Billboard in Florida
Houses of Congress Underwater; Owners Threaten to Walk Away from Mortgage
McDonalds To Add 50 Cent “Seat Fee” For All Customers Who Eat Inside
Duchess of Cornwall Breaks Leg, Will Be Euthanized
God Sues Magrathea for Patent Infringement
BOOK REVIEW: “Serial Killing for Dummies”
ADVERTISEMENT: Free Chicken for All Hobos, at the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson!
Exorcism of Glenn Beck Fails
New U.S. Copyright Law Mandates Per-Page Reading Fee for All Books and Magazines
3 Pedestrians, 2 Clowns Injured in Street Mime Explosion
17-Year-Old High School Student Killed in Texting-and-Driving Accident: “He Died Doing What He Loved,” Says Mother
FEATURE: Bensenville: Illinois’ Ghost Town
O’Hare Airport Expansion Continues; Joliet Faces Demolition
Spirit Airlines To Charge 50% More Per Seat If Woman Passenger Is Pregnant
Statue of Dick Tracy To Be Installed in Naperville, Illinois; Expected to Move More Quickly Than Plot of Newspaper Comic
Vatican Announces iHeaven; Catholics Queuing for Rapture
Golfer’s Wife Charged with Hate Crime for Attacking Black Man
Bachelor of Science Graduates Roundly Ignored as Tattooed College Moron Goes Pro
Topless Support Demonstration in Portland, Maine Used as Cover for Filming of Erykah Badu Music Video
OPINION: I Won’t Believe That “American” Is a Cheese Until I See a Wheel of It
Tea Party Claims “2010 Census is America’s Domesday Book”
Windows Tool Disses iPad
UK Closed All Day on Saturday for Doctor Who Broadcast
ASK THE DOCTOR: What’s the Best Treatment for Herculoids?
Mother Nature Arrested, Charged with Genocide in Haiti Hurricane Deaths
Disney Bus Sends 10-Year-Old Boy to “The Happiest Place Not on Earth”
April Fools’ Day Cancelled Due to Lack of Irony
Newborn Infant Finds That Life Doesn’t Live Up to the Hype
Spacecraft Advised to Avoid Earth During Hyperspace Bypass Construction
School District Bans the English Language; Claims That “It Contains Inappropriate Words”
Mysterious Mystery Mystifies Baffled Experts
Obama Makes Zero-Day Appointments
Ricky Martin Is Shocked That He’s Gay
Mobster Found Swimming in Pool of Blood Sets New Record for 200 Meter Freestyle
DOD Develops Weaponized Pork
Project Stargate Seizes Hot Tub Time Machine
Jesse James Calls Tiger Woods for Advice
Man Puts a Ring on It: EMTs Use Bolt Cutters to Remove Ring from It
OPINION: Dear 3D Movie Makers: I Won’t Watch Your Movie
Sarah Palin, Reality TV Star: Her New Show to Run for Two-and-a-half Years
John McCain Unveils New GOP Slogan: “Republicans First, Country Second”
Wikipedia Offline; Interwebbers Forced to Read Books
Man Eschews Technology, Finds Happiness
Consumer Products Safety Commission Orders Recall of One Million Baby Catapults
Hawaii Calls for Federal Regulation of Too-Hot Lava
United Earth Government Forces Google to Remove Earth from Google Solar System; UE Claims Security Concerns
Norton Ranks Best Cities for Computer Virus Fearmongering
Last modified
2015-06-27