THE LEGEND-NEWS HEADLINES.
“Truth? Lies? Satire? What‘s the difference?”
Path Beaten; Suspect In Custody
Snack Food Recalled For Undeclared Awesomeness
HELL FREEZES OVER. Also, Convicted Felon Inaugurated As President.
Beloved Historic State Ravaged By Fire
Donald Trump To Expand Waistline; Military Force Not Ruled Out
Porn Site “Deeply Regrets” Any Association with Mattel
Davros Selects Dalek Associates For Cabinet
Evangelical Leaders Celebrate Satan’s Election As President
44.8% of Eligible U.S. Voters Screw Over The Other 55.2%
Catholic Priest Says He’s Fine With Not Having Children
Yogurt Company Accused Of Cultural Appropriation
Dad Abandons Wife And Kids In Baltimore; Claims He Has A “Hungry Heart”
American Politics Sicken Millions
Democrats Offer Free Transgender Surgery For Republican Politicians
The 18 Best Weapons For An Insurrection, According To Stylists
BOEING STARLINER ASTRONAUTS HELD HOSTAGE!
Killer Views Kill Seven
Photos Of Jesus Christ Leave Fans In Awe
God Issues Boil Order For Egyptians
Martian Immigrant Arrested For Driving While Green
News Editor Looks Up Definition Of “Iconic”, Immediately Turns Pale
Clickbait Drags Out Fake Story, Ends On Heart-Warming Note
King Trump Declares Complete Immunity For Future Fifth Avenue Shooting
Celebrity Dies Only 32,142 Days After Birth
“Make America Colonial Again” Gains Steam
AI Warns That Human Intelligence Could Lead To World Apocalypse
Jury Declares Hunter Biden Eligible To Run For Presidency
Mouse-Americans Boycott Disney Over Rodent Appropriation
Forgotten One-Hit Wonders From Tuesday!
Very Innocent Man Found Guilty Of 34 Felony Counts
Trump Will Change All U.S. Time Zones to GMT+3 To Align With Moscow
Marjorie Taylor Green Shows Off Perfect Figure In New Photos
Peaceful Protestors Called In To Break Up SWAT Team
Top 10,000 4-Digit PIN Codes: Is Yours On The List?
Democrats Want To Remodel My Kitchen!
Stanley® Tumbler Look-A-Like Suffering From Impostor Syndrome
Viewers Watch In Horror As Seinfeld Movie “Unfrosted” Plays On Netflix
King Trump Refuses To Accept Reality
Chicken Skewers Burst With Flavor; 17 Injured
The End Of The World Will Arrive Eventually, Eschatologist Advises
Medieval Times Updates Their Theme To The Trump Presidency
Schröedinger’s Cat Thinks Outside Of The Box
Felonious Trump To Drop New Album
Trump Takes Credit For American Revolution
Free Water For Seniors! You Won’t Believe The Price!
Billions Of People Could Die If Governments Fail To Agree On Asteroid-Deflection Technology
Republican Immigration Overwhelms Russian Resources
Old McDonald Had A Farm, Until The Foreclosure
Fast Food Chain Apologizes For “Metastasize It” Promotion
Fantastic Four Movie To Introduce Forbush Man
Boston Blackie Punned Down
The Most Fast-Forwarded Movie Scenes
Woman Wears Clothing! See The Pics!
Detroit Lions Win Super Bowl In An Alternate Universe
The Ending of The Bible, Explained
Tesla Recalls
Your
Car
Today’s Suggested Password: “BananaSuitcaseDinosaur”
Pictures Of Toast Leave Fans In Awe
The 25 Best Words In The English Language, Ranked In Order
Nobodies Who Died Last Year And We Really Don’t Care
Taylor Swift Dumps Travis Kelce Following Raiders 20—14 Victory Over Chiefs
Fan Art Looks A Fucking Sight Better Than The Actual Movie
President Biden Pardons Turkeys; Donald Trump Not Included
Wonder Woman Wears Daring Outfit, Forgets Jet Is Invisible
New Mexico Passes Emigration Law: If You Can’t Prove You Live Outside the State, You Can’t Leave New Mexico
Little Known Fact: Jude Law appeared in the first episode of
Thunderbirds
in 1965.
THIS MONTH IN HISTORY: April 1860: PonEx Begins Mail Delivery Between St. Joseph, Missouri and Sacramento, California
Adobe Takes Flash Ball and Goes Home
Airlines Kiss Ash Goodbye; European Flights Resume
Invasion of Earth is Go After Martians Trigger Eruption of Volcano in Iceland
Atlanteans Walk Away from Underwater Mortgage
Sarah Palin’s Mouth Sues for Divorce: “I Will No Longer Be Manipulated!” It Says.
Terrorists Sulking Over Iceland Volcano Ash: “It’s Doing More Than We Could!”
Chatroulette “Makes Thing Interesting” By Adding Double-Zero
Old Home Cafe to Re-Open in Hayden, Iowa
Tetley Lipton Running as Tea Party Candidate for President
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Last modified 2025-03-01
